Mental Ability-Related Feelings (Emotions)

Feelings And Emotions

Feelings and emotions are usually characterized as a state (state) of self or individual organism at a time. For example, people feel sad, happy, moved and so forth-if you see something, hear something, smell and so forth. Symptoms include feeling soul which is owned by everyone who just hue and its level is not the same. Feelings do not know though symptoms include feeling often associated with symptom recognition.

Then what is meant by that feeling? The feeling is the state of spiritual or psychological event like or dislike in a relationship with familiar events and is subjective. In other words the feeling is characterized as a state of the soul as a result of events which generally come from outside, and these events usually lead to jiggle-jiggle on the individuals concerned.

The reaction of each person against the state was not the same as true to each other. Therefore, in the sense of some particular trait that is:

1. Has to do with symptom recognition. Feelings associated with perception of events, is a psychological reaction to the stimulus that it takes. There was a very pleasant experience this state, but otherwise there is also a normal course, and there may even experience feelings that are less pleased. Thus, although the same stimulus, but the feelings generated by the stimulus can be different.

2. Feelings are subjective, more subjective when compared with events other mental health. Although the same stimulus, the feelings generated can vary in character according to the circumstances of each individual.

3. The feeling is experienced as feeling happy or not happy is not the same level. Nevertheless there are experts who argue that while feeling happy and not happy is only one dimension only of feelings.

As has been stated above that feeling arises as a consequence or reaction to the stimulus of the individual, but this does not mean that the state of feeling is solely dependent on the stimulus from the outside, because there are times when something does not evoke a sense of the situation at all. Because of that feeling in addition to depending on the stimulus that comes from outside, also depend on:

a. individual physical condition. If less healthy physical condition can affect a matter that is on individual feelings. In general, people are in a state of pain, is more sensitive when compared with the healthy physical condition.

b. Nature (the ground state of individuals). This is closely related to the structure of private individuals. For example there are people who easily get angry, otherwise there is a difficult person. Thus individual personal structure will also determine whether or not someone is having something easy feeling.

c. Individual circumstances at a time, or a temporary state of a person. For example, people who at one time was frantic mind, would be susceptible to feelings of individuals when compared to that in normal circumstances.

Self-Awareness and Disclosure

Self-Consciousness

If a man has to register the various qualities that wants owned, self-consciousness must occupy a high priority. All human beings want to know yourself better by controlling the mind and behavior. Most humans only up to a limit on the extent to understand ourselves or realize who he was.

Self-consciousness is the foundation for all forms and functions of communication (Kleinke, 1978). This can be explained very well through the Johari Window (Johari Window), (Luft, 1969, 1970). This window is divided into four principal areas or quadrants, each of which contains the self (self) are different.

Open area (Open Self)

Open areas (open self) contains all the information, behaviors, attitudes, feelings, desires, motivation, ideas and so forth that are known by themselves and by others. Kinds of information included here can range from the name, color, and sex someone up to the age, political beliefs and religion. Open areas of each person the amount will vary depending on with whom the person is communicating. There are people who make us feel comfortable and supported us; against them, we open ourselves wide. Against other people who we would prefer to close most of us.

The amount of open area also vary from one person to another. Some people tend to express their wishes and feelings are most deeply. Others prefer to remain silent both in terms of importance or not important. However, most of us, to open up to certain people about certain things at certain times. The smaller the first quadrant, "said Luft" (1970) "the worse communication." Communication depends on how far we open ourselves to our own. If we do not let other people know us, communication becomes very difficult, if not even impossible. We can communicate meaningful only if we know each other and also to know oneself. To improve communications, we must first try to enlarge this open area.

Changes in open areas or in any area or quadrant will result in changes in the other quadrants. Imagine a fixed size window, with a large per box can vary sometimes small, sometimes large. If one box becomes smaller, another box will become larger. Similarly, if one of the boxes become larger, the other box would be smaller. The regions themselves are, thus, are not mutually exclusive and independent. They each depend on others.

Regional Blind (Blind Self)

Blood blind (blind self) contains information about ourselves known to others but we ourselves do not know. This can be a little habits that says "you know" or hold, holding his nose when you are angry or anything else that is more meaningful as a defensive attitude, or experience pent.

Some people have a blind area is vast and seemingly unaware of the various mistakes he made. Other people seemed very worried if it has a few blind areas. They try to do therapy and follow all the activities of self-awareness group. While other people who think they know everything about themselves, believe that they have omitted this blind area to zero. There's more people who only pretend to want to reduce their blind areas. They expressed a willingness to hear about themselves, but the negative tone of comments just appear, they become defensive and self-defense. Most of us lies between these extremes.

Communication requires openness parties involved. If there are blind areas, communication becomes difficult. However, such areas will always be present in each of us. Although we may be able to shrink the area, eliminate them altogether is impossible.

Dark areas (Unknown Self)

Dark areas (unknown self) is part of the human self that is not known either by himself or by others. This is information that sank in the subconscious or something that is forgotten from the attention. Humans get a picture of these dark areas of a number of sources. Sometimes this area is revealed through temporary changes due to take medication, through a special experimental conditions such as hypnosis or sensory deprivation, or through a variety of projective tests or a dream. Exploration of this area through interactions that are open, honest and empathetic with a sense of trust with another person, parent, friend, counselor, children, lovers an effective way to get the picture.

Closed Area (Hidden Self)

Area covered (hidden self) contains all the things that humans know about yourself or about someone else but he kept just for himself. This is an area where humans produce all things about himself and about others. At the extreme ends, there are those who are too open (overdiscosers) and those who are too closed (underdisclosers). Those who are too open about everything. They do not keep secrets about yourself and about others. They will tell you the story of the family, sexual problems, marital problems, financial circumstances, objectives, successes and failures, just all kinds. The problem with those who are too open is that they do not distinguish between people who should and should not be heard this disclosure. Furthermore, they also do not distinguish the various information which they may express and the information that should they keep secret.

Those who are too close not to say anything. Next they will talk neighbor others but not on their own. They may feel that they are afraid of rejection, or may feel rejected because they do not want to trust others. Most of us different between these two extremes. We keep certain things and we open other things, we are open to certain people and we are not open to someone else. Basically, we are the ones that selectively open.

The Principle of "Turn Off" Barriers Verbal (Language)

a. Do the inclusion and avoid internal discussion

Verbal habits are annoying and disturbing is the internal call when there are others who are not members of the group present. Such as if a collection of children were gathered and discuss communication about communication theory and then suddenly their child's friends come join in the conversation economy was then sometimes they forget to adjust to the child so that the economy is not interesting conversation going like him. In any communication it would need to include every person in the interaction, in group talk service is an annoying habit.

b. Do equality and avoid conversation pejorative

Equality is the opposite view of communication on an equal footing physically, emotionally and intellectually. While downward-talk look at communications versus a lower position. Sometimes when someone does interrupt or cut the talk they are talking is a sign of degrading in a way that what he is talking about is more important than who said to his interlocutor.

There are 2 kinds of downward-talk or the way people degrading others for doing the communication, namely:

• Power play; is verbal maneuvers drop consists of three characters, namely:

o "No one is on top"; form of treatment that ignores the written and unwritten rules to someone.

o "You owe me"; a treat for someone to claim retribution for what she had done

o "He's like a goat", is a form of analogy or metaphor to equate someone with something bad.

• Gobbledygook; is demeaning behavior by way of saying complicated and confusing, or long-winded, so bury the message in a heap of words.

c. Do honesty avoid lying

Honesty is the submission of the meaning of the message as it is without any manipulation (referred to the intention to communicate). While lying is a wrong statement that is intended to deceive or something created to create the wrong impression. Why humans do disbelieving? There are two reasons the first is the attempt to avoid punishment for someone to avoid punishment by disbelieving in others. The second is to get certain benefits. In this context lie because it is driven by:

o Basic needs: lie to preserve objects that meet basic needs such as money, wealth, etc.

o Affiliation: lied to reinforce the desired affiliation and weaken unwanted.

o Self-esteem: lying to enhance self-esteem such as competence, image and sense of social acceptance.

o Satisfaction yourself: lie to achieve self-satisfaction as a lie for humor or to exaggerate things.

d. Do balance self talk and the other talk

The balance is balancing between talking about themselves by talking about other parties. Humans are egocentric beings as if what is on this nature is provided for fun and their interests. So the orientation is only talking about themselves, their own families and so forth. While there is an opposite condition of the man who does not talk about himself. This behavior is shut down. Even so people who have such properties have a great desire to know everything about other people. So that its orientation was talk of others.

Communication is a two way process, so ideally in communication sometimes talk about yourself (self talk), sometimes also talk about other people (other talk). Each participant must be the subject of communication but also given the opportunity to become the objects for effective communication can not be boring.

e. Confidentiality and avoid gossip

Confidentiality is keeping things that are privacy of third parties. The ethics of communication is not the right person to publish information about a person without his permission. So the ideal is to maintain communication of this principle and avoid gossip. Gossip is empty conversations or rumors about others who may cause serious problems if not handled in a fair and even unethical.

f. Confirm & avoid disconfirmation

Every human being has a need for respect and presence is recognized. Therefore, the confirmation must be done in any of interpersonal communication in the form of recognition of the presence of others and showing personal acceptance and pattern of relationships that occur. In contrast to communication patterns that occur can work well it is necessary to avoid disconfirmation of neglect the presence of others and what is communicated.

Barriers In Communication Verbal (Language)

Communications may be stuck or encounter obstacles at any point in the process of sending a message. There are 7 barriers to interpersonal communication that is often referred to as "cognitive distortions" (Burns, 1980). Obstacles can arise in interpersonal communication, group or public. 7 Verbal Communication Barriers are:

a. Polarization: tendency to see the world in the form opposite and elaborate in the extreme form. Humans tend to look his interlocutor in an extreme point condition. Humans will look at his interlocutor whether good or bad, friend or foe. Humans never see the man from the other possibilities such as friend or foe other than perhaps the others are "neutral"

b. Intentional Orientation: tendency to view people, objects and events in accordance with the characteristics inherent in them (the label). If the man in the association has given the picture that they are talking with is "people who do not pull" then he will tend to perceive his interlocutors do not always interesting, although he has not talked at all. This means that human beings tend to view others through the filter information has been obtained previously. Intentional orientation is a behavior that only looked at people from the label inherent in him and not man as a personal self.

c. Erroneous conclusion of fact: Fallacy is also known as pragmatic implications. On submission of the human language or words can do two ways: descriptive statement or inferential statement. Descriptive statement such as "he is wearing a blue shirt" blue shirt can be seen and described significantly. While the inferential statement (conclusion), eg "he looked with malice". The hatred here is difficult to describe in a clear and real. Clearer example again with the story below:

A woman was walking in a mall, by accident he met with his old friend who was 10 years old reportedly unknown. The woman's holding a boy. After talking to the woman asks "Is this your son?" His friend replied "yes, I got married six years ago." Women were then asked the boy "what's your name, son?". The boy replied: "same as the name of the father". "Oh, then your name is Peter," said the woman.

From the story above we may conclude that the earlier a female friend female friends when in fact she'd go round male sex. So basically people are often erroneously concluded that the fact both physical and messages conveyed by his interlocutor.

d. Cut Compass (by passing): the evaluation of error patterns in which people fail to communicate the meaning of what they mean. This occurs when the sender and the recipient misinterpreting each other's eating them. Cut compasses can have two forms, namely: (1) The use of different words but mean the same and (2) Use the same words but different meanings.

In the example of the use of different words but mean the same are as follows:

A: I want our relationship lasting not for a moment (meaning she wants her lover to be the only one who loved)

B: I'm not ready (married), let our relationship like this (meaning just want to be associated with A only)

While in example 2 is as follows:

A: I do not really believe in religion (meaning, do not believe in God)

B: I also (meaning, do not believe in religion but believes in God)

e. Artificiality: is the human inability to know and say everything. This means that humans have limited capabilities that may not convey the facts, phenomena and the meaning in clear, detailed and rigid. Human ability is very limited, as the proverbial blind men describing an elephant was told, when holding its trunk so he would say an elephant like a snake and so on. Humans have never seen anything as a whole or experienced in full. Humans only see a part but overall he concludes.

f. Evaluation of static: error in abstracting something or someone is static, whereas something and someone who is very abstraction may change. It is common and normal when all things changed, but the question of whether human actions and behavior of a phenomenon or humans show that they know these changes through other words, do human beings act in accordance with the rhythm of change and not just accept it.

g. Indiscriminate: human inability to see the phenomenon as something that is unique or special and need to be observed individually. Everything in nature is not all Naturalife Greenworld the exact same thing in common. All things are unique and different from the others. Even so to facilitate the classification of something then do the categorization of human-specific categorization based on similarities and specific features. Categorization was causing people to forget the uniqueness of each person, thing or event. Indiscriminate occurred when humans are not able to see that each is unique and special and need to be observed individually. This error is often referred to as the stereotype of mental images that persist about a particular group of people that are considered applicable to every member of that group without regard to the uniqueness of each person concerned.

Listening Effectively

Man listening to for various reasons and for different purposes, the principles applied in effective listening should be different from one situation to another. Here are four dimensions of listening and illustrations fit the various models of listening to different communication situations.

a. Participatory and Passive Listening

Effective listening is the key to participate. Perhaps the best preparation for a participatory hearing is to act like someone who participates (physically and mentally) in the act of communication. It may sound trivial and redundant, but, in practice, this is probably listening to an effective rule of the most neglected.

Keep in mind how the human body reacts to important news. Almost immediately he would take an upright position, tilt your body to Arabic speakers, and relatively speaking. Humans do this instinctively because in this way is considered to be the most effective listening. But this does not mean that listening should be tense and uncomfortable when listening. What is more important than physical alertness are mental alertness. As a listener, participation in the communication interaction is equivalent to the speaker, as people who are emotionally and intellectually ready to engage in the process of sharing meaning.

However, not passively listening is not helpful. Passively listening - listening without speaking and without direct talks with nonverbal ways - is a powerful way to communicate the acceptance. Listening to passively allow the speaker to develop thoughts and ideas in front of other people who received but did not evaluate and does not interfere.

Other forms and passively listening is just sit back, relax, and let the sound stimulation stroking without the use of energy means, and especially without direct stimulation of that at all. Listening to music is really for fun and not to make criticism is perhaps a good example.

 

b. Empathic listening and Objective

If you want to understand what he meant and felt someone, people need to listen with empathy (Rodgers & Fanson, 1981). To empathize with another person means to feel what they felt, involve the world as they involved. Only when humans can empathize so he can understand what another person entirely. Although for most situations empathic listening communication is the most advisable response model, there are times when people need to go further to measure the meaning and feeling according to objective reality.

c. Listen without judging and listen critically

Listening to effectively involve responses that are not good rate (nonjudgmental) and the critical. Humans need to listen without judging - with an open mind and and try to understand. However, humans also need to listen critically for the purpose of evaluation or appraisal. Clearly, people need to first listen to understand and refrain from making judgments. Listening with an open mind is very difficult as an example, listen to arguments against a particular belief or listen to popular criticism of the values. Furthermore, people need to listen to a fair (fair), although there are statements that are not in place will be pitched against.

However, if meaningful communication should be established, it is necessary to complete the act of listening with an open mind is the act of listening critically. Listening with an open mind will help settle the message better. Listen with a critical mind this understanding will help analyze and evaluate the message ..

d. Listening in a Shallow and the In

In most of the messages have a clear meaning that can be known by literally reading the words and sentences that were there, but often there is also another level of meaning. Sometimes the original meaning contrary to the literal meaning. Another time, two meanings seem completely unrelated. In fact, few messages that only have one level of meaning; most messages contain two or three levels of meaning at once. For example, Anna asked for your comments about the new haircut. On one level the meaning is clear: Do you like this haircut? But apparently there is another level of meaning, perhaps more important level: Anna expect you to say something positive about the appearance. In the same way, a father who complained about the busy and hard work in the office or at home might actually expect any awards. In a hearing should be very sensitive to different levels of meaning. If the only response to surface-level communication, it will lose the opportunity to make contacts more daring with feelings and real needs of the person concerned.

Barriers to Effective Listening

There are various obstacles to effectiveness in listening. According to Nichols & Stevens (1957) barriers to listening to consist of:

1. Busy with Yourself

Perhaps the most serious obstacle and most destructive of effective listening is a human tendency to become preoccupied with yourself. For example, people may focus on its practices themselves during the interaction. Sometimes busy with yourself arise because people assume the role as a speaker. Humans began to prepare responses and think about what will be said to answer the questions of his interlocutor. Over time focusing on yourself this, would not pay attention to what the speaker said.

2. Busy with External Issues

Another inhibitor is the tendency to focus on issues that are not relevant to the interaction. Humans think about what was done last Saturday, making plans for tonight or thinking about films that will be witnessed this evening. Of course, more and more busy people thinking about these external matters, increasingly ineffective listening activities.

3. Sharpen (Sharpening)

In sharpening, one or two aspects and the message highlighted, emphasized, and perhaps spiced. Often the concept is refined certain things that happen to stand out compared with the other aspects.

4. Assimilation

Assimilation is the tendency to reconstruct the message so that it is in accordance with the attitudes, prejudices, needs, and the man himself. For example, if a person has negative views of the management company. He received messages that are neutral. For example, a company bulletin says "Management plans to impose a schedule change drastically. Employees should prompt response. "Notice that this statement is not pro or anti-management. Because assimilation may see this as a negative evaluation of the management. In delivering this message to other colleagues, he hinted the negative evaluation of self and say something like, "They will mess up the schedule again." The person who receives this message will not know anything about the first message that is neutral, they only hear negative evaluation: that management will impose a schedule that will be difficult for employees.

5. Comrade Factor-or-Opponent

Factors friend-or-create a human opponent often distorts the message because of his attitude toward others. For example, if you think Freddy is a friend then you will take pains to try to listen objectively Freddy. You have to try hard to hear and evaluate what he says in a fair and unbiased but will be different if Freddy had is your enemy

6. Hearing Expected

When listening, people are often lost in the speaker's message. However, often do not hear what was actually said and instead listen to what is expected. You know that Lin lecturers often protested about the values that have, therefore, when Lin told you about the problem with a teacher, almost automatically you "heard" that Lin was complaining about its value.

Listening

Essence Listening

Because the activities of listening is often understood only dimly understood and sometimes inaccurate, it is necessary is the need to examine more thoroughly the essence of listening. Listening is defined as an active process of receiving stimuli (stimulus) ear (aural). Contrary to popular conception, is a process of active listening is not passive. Listening does not just happen, people must do it. Listening requires effort and commitment. Listening (listening) regarding acceptance of the stimulus and therefore different from the hearing (hearing) as a physiological process. The word received confirms that a person absorbs the stimulus (stimulus) and process it in some way. At least for some time, the signal received custody. Listening involves aural stimulation, is a signal (sound waves) received by the ear. Listen, therefore, not limited to verbal cues (words), but also includes all signals that can be heard: loud noises as well as the words, music as well as prose. Listening is a skill that is very important in all forms of human communication.

Types of Listening

As well as speaking for various purposes, people also listen to a variety of purposes. There are three types of listening are:

a. Listening for Pleasure. Listening for pleasure takes quite a lot of time. Listening to music, sports broadcasts, or television show is basically for fun. When listening for pleasure, a student may forget while lecturers are fussy, distanced himself from the other stimuli, relax and enjoy this stimulation. Listen to this category of activity is relatively passive.

b. Listen for information. A student or students, have the primary responsibility to listen to obtain information. In class listening to teachers or lecturers and other fellow students. When setting the car radio to listen to the results of the final game of football and so forth. In small groups or interpersonal situation, a lot of time and people used to listen to the information - what happens. Once upon a time, human purpose simply get new information, learn the specific data are not yet known. Other times, people listen to obtain information so that it can acquire new skills or do something more effectively - to operate the computer, throw the ball, serving dinner. Another time again, listening for specific information so that then can perform an evaluation or criticism.

c. Listening to Help. Function assist in listening activities are of great importance that will be mentioned repeatedly. When people listen to someone complain, talk about a problem or will try to make decisions, people often listen to for help. Perhaps this assistance in the form of a listener than a caring and supportive. Other times, the assistance provided can be more direct, for example in the form of giving advice and counsel.